The Christmas Letter

Miss Saccharine and I resisted the pull to write an annual Christmas letter for many years. Our third Christmas after the wedding, we did send out a Christmas card that we still treasure and prize as perhaps the most inspired moment of silliness in our lives. At the time, we were living in a badly furnished basement apartment in Provo, UT, and Alpha was pushing 16 months of age. My oldest sister came down from Salt Lake with her two kids--at the time her son was 2 years and her daughter about six months old. Both her kids had reflux problems as infants, and Linds was particularly grouchy after the hour-long drive. Miss Saccharine decided the three cousins just had to have their picture taken together (MS LOVES pictures), so we sat the three kids on the couch (which was covered with an old, frayed, pale green blanket from Miss Saccharine's childhood to hide the awful 70's-vintage yellow luau flower print upholstery) and tried to get them to look pleasant. Nothing doing. Linds gave up being surly and started howling to raise the dead. Flynn (my nephew's in utero nickname) curled up in a ball and gave us his very best "picture smile," which only succeeded in making him look like he was in some sort of physical agony, possibly from trying to clear a particularly bad case of constipation. And Alpha decided he wasn't going to put up with just one infant hollering, so he put his healthy lungs into outdoing Linds. Knowing this was about as good as it was going to get, Miss Saccharine took a couple of pictures and hoped one of them would turn out. None of them did.

Several days after getting the prints back and laughing ourselves silly at Flynn's apparent (although not actual) discomfort and the two screaming babies flanking him, we noticed a display for Christmas postcards. With the horrific cousins picture fresh in our minds, we spotted what, at the time, seemed like the perfect design. In the white space to the left of the picture is a flying Christmas angel over the word "JOY!" We picked the worst of the pictures, bought 50 cards, and sent them to all of our friends and family. We have treasured that card for more than 14 years and continue to put it up on the refrigerator along with all the other cards we receive every year. That was the only card we mailed for the first 10-plus years of our marriage. When we decided a couple of years ago to start writing a Christmas letter and sending our a family picture, several of our long-time friends wrote back to tell us they also had kept a hold of that first card, because it was one of the funniest things they had ever seen.

Now that we are up to five kids, we have gotten more traditional with our Christmas card picture, which is fine. I'm not sure, given the span in our kids' ages, that we could get something as silly as that first one in a candid shot--it would look posed, forced. So gone away are the funny pictures, here to stay are the studio pictures.

Our energy now goes into the letter that goes out with the picture. Miss Saccharine and I are of different minds on Christmas letters. She views them as important documents that convey important facts about the family that might be suitable for archiving as a bit of family history. I think they are more like Sports Center--quick interesting snippets that tell your friends the kind of thing you would say if they called and asked, "What have you been up to?" We agree, however, that the typical Christmas letter reads a bit like a resume--selectively choosing the best stuff and presenting it in a way that "sells." Reading some of the letters we get from friends and extended family, one would think that our entire circle of friends and relations all hailed from Lake Wobegone: All the women are strong, the men are pretty, and all the children are above average. There cannot possibly be so many public schools around that every family we know has at least one child who is student body president, head cheerleader, or basketball team captain, but it seems from our incoming Christmas letters, that that is the case.

Anyway, in an attempt to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, we have set ourselves certain rules for the writing of the wheelhead family letter. Nothing about the childrens' achievements, only their participation (this last year, Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie all ran at the AAU National Cross Country Championship Meet in Orlando, FL. Our letter only mentioned that they ran and that we had a great time at Gatorland--which we did). Nothing about our church callings. No travelogues. Instead, we focus on how the kids are developing (this year we will probably mention Charlie taking art classes over the summer and really enjoying them) and our growing appreciation for God's blessings in our lives.

Not being ones to keep it short and sweet (witness every entry in this blog), and being a family of seven now, MS and I struggle to keep the letter to two sheets of paper printed on both sides. The writing typically consists of the two of us spending an hour talking about what we want to include and making a list of stuff to cover for each kid. She writes the first draft of the letter in longhand. I then type it up (no small feat, given her handwriting) and she starts editing, rewriting, rearranging, and so on. I make the changes, then make my suggestions, and eventually we get something we both like. Once we get the pictures back, Miss Saccharine addresses all the letters to her our relatives, her friends, and to the small circle of people that we consider to be "our firends" (people we befriended after we met each other. "Her friends" and "my friends" are people that we've known since before we met). My friends she doesn't address envelopes for. Because I typically have a significant honey-do list every evening and weekend, I haven't gotten around to sending out letters the last two years. I have meant and meant to do it this year, but it hasn't happened, and given the date, I probably will just give it up for this year.

So if you happen to be one of "my friends" (and you know who you are), please accept my apologies. We have the last two years of letters somewhere, so I will make copies and send them to you with this year's Christmas letter. That will save me writing and striking out Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's Day, Happy St. Patrick's Day, Happy Easter, Happy Memorial Day, and Happy Independence Day on anyone's letter. Incidentally, given the length of time it takes to write the Christmas letter, it's probably time to start writing this year's letter--don't want to leave it to the last minute!