The Wheelheads visit the #2 amusement park for families

I am a sucker for good commercials. Several years ago, Holiday Inn came up with the Holiday Inn Express concept and--before the "I'm not a doctor, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night," ad campaign--they were pimping their fantastic (and free!) continental breakfast. The all-time best commercial they had was for the cinnamon rolls: a young woman with an expression of concern and some anxiety, carries a plate of warm cinnamon rolls in slow motion; in the background, three-piece-suited business travelers are cheering wildly, jumping around, chest bumping and so forth; a voice-over (shades of NFL Films arctic tundra of Lambeau Field) tells about the new day in business travel; the woman puts the cinnamon rolls down and turns to walk away with a look that says, "Who are these freaks?" as the business travelers jostle for position to get the first cinnamon roll. I'm not even coming close to doing the spot justice, but it is one of my all-time favorites. Whenever I have traveled for the last five years and had to pay lodging on my own (most of my travel is business-related, so the employer picks up Embassy Suites--yeah, baby!) I have stayed at HIE, specifically to have the cinnamon rolls, which, all things considered, are pretty good.

Anyway, I traveled this weekend on my own dime, taking Bravo, Charlie, Delta, and Echo to "Pennsyltucky" for a day at Idlewild. What's that, you say? You've never heard of the world's #2 best amusement park for families, as rated by a survey of Leisure magazine (or some such)? Well, it has been one of our family's favorite places for a number of years. With the summer winding down and nothing in the way of family togetherness fun accomplished, we decided to trek three hours up the road to scenic Ligonier, PA. I drove the four kids up on Thursday evening after work, stayed at HIE and filled up on cinnamon rolls, then went to Idlewild for the day, meeting Miss Saccharine's parents as the gates opened, and then met up with Miss Saccharine herself once she drove up from the DC area. It was the first time for Delta and Echo, both of whom had a great time.

Anyway, Idlewild is a very old amusement park about 45 miles southeast of Pittsburgh in the middle of the Western Pennsylvania forest. It's about 10 miles from Latrobe (home of Rolling Rock Beer, if I'm not mistaken), the hometown of Fred Rogers, of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood fame (this is significant--wait for it). Originally built in 1878 as a picnic and water recreation (read: rowboating) area, it began to take on the features of an amusement park in 1931. The carousel installed that year is still operational (Delta and Echo rode it about 10 times). The park has expanded over the years and now includes a water park (it has doubled in size since the last time we were there about five or six years ago), Storybook forest (a hokey walk in the woods with lots of nursery rhymes come to life--the little kids love it, the big kids roll their eyes in exasperated boredom--and a lot of your basic amusement park/carnival attractions. They added a short log ride recently (it's no Matterhorn, but it does get you wet...if the weight distribution is right) and have some of the best customer service around. The place was pretty packed on Friday, but even with all the people everywhere (it was the most crowded I have ever seen it in my five or six trips there), the longest wait any of us dealt with was about 30 minutes.

The downsides: 1) this is not the place you want to go if your idea of a great day at the amusement park is riding 20 different roller coasters; 2) the food is ok; 3) the price is a little steep for a place that only has two roller coasters; 4) I didn't call this part of the country Pennsyltucky for nothing. If another of your ideas of a good time is seeing a lot of fleshy people with tattoos and bad teeth, Idelwild is the place for you. Try to go on a hot day so the fleshy tattooed people will be exposing even more of their fleshiness.


I'm about to get doused (again) at Soak Zone. Note the tattoo on the shoulder of woman to the left. I'm sure there were at least 10 more tattoos on the people in this picture--perhaps even the children. That's me with the farmer-tan-and-middle-age-paunch-hiding t-shirt, male-pattern-baldness-protecting cap, and sunglasses.

OK, I've painted a rather unpleasant picture with that last paragraph. In reality, there is a lot to like about Idlewild. It is a beautiful setting. There's lots of shade (my main memories of going to Disneyland as a kid and Great America as a teenager are of large open expanses of asphalt with the hot California summer sun beating down on you relentlessly all day long). The water park area (Soak Zone) is great. The kiddie ride section is very nice. They regularly have additional attractions booked for long stretches of the summer that are included in your price of admission--the last time we went, there was a Russian circus/acrobatics group that was fantastic. Most times the crowds are reasonable. The price is, relatively speaking, quite a deal, and you can get discount tickets pretty easily. And best of all, you can visit the land of make-believe in Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

No joke on that last one. In the late 1980s, the park approached Fred Rogers about sponsoring an attraction for younger kids. He went them one better and proposed putting in the land of make-believe. It's now one of the most popular attractions in the park. You ride on the trolley, go through the tunnel, and visit all the characters--X the Owl, Henrietta Pussycat, Cornflake Especially, the Platypus family, King Friday XIII, Daniel Striped Tiger, and Lady Elaine. It's corny, yes, but really fun to take your kids on.


Daniel Striped Tiger in his clock, as seen from the Trolley in the Land of Make-Believe. We invited him and all the neighbors to King Friday's Hug and Song Party at the castle.

Wheelhead rating: three-and-a-half wheels out of four. If they could do something about the unsightly tattoos, the unsightly tattooed, and smoking (forot about that--there's lots of it in western PA), it would get four wheels. All the downsides aside, it really is a great place to take your kids. Check it out at www.idlewild.com--one of these days I will learn to do html tagging. Until then, copy and paste that URL for more information.

Almost forgot, Holiday Inn Express is on US Route 30 in Greensboro (Greensburgh? Greensville?) about 12 miles west of Idlewild, which is also right on Highway 30. Take the PA Turnpike to Exit 92, then take Highway 119 north to Highway 30 east. It's about four miles to HIE. And the cinnamon rolls are just as good there as at every other HIE I've stayed at over the last couple of years. Only downside is that the business center charges you for internet access--the first time I've run across that.